Major Government Report: Guns Not Killing People, Bullets Are

Bullets for handloading - Sierra brand in .270 Winchester caliber (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

WASHINGTON DC--Looking at 4 decades worth of US data, the FBI"s Bureau of Statistical Analysis of Criminal Behavior released a report stating that the answer to the problem of US shooting deaths cannot be found in banning guns.

The report released yesterday called into question whether regulating or even banning firearms will make any difference because guns are not killing people, bullets are.

"We don't need to get rid of the Second Amendment to the Constitution guaranteeing US citizens the right to bear and keep arms. Instead banning guns is counter productive because after a careful analysis of all US gun violence, we found that guns were not killing people. Rather it was the bullets being shot from the guns that were killing people," FBI's Lead Statistical Analytical Researcher Dr Elmer Feelgood reported.

"Sure there were a few deaths over the past 4 decades when somebody killed somebody by hitting them with the butt of their rifle, but all shooting deaths involved bullets," Feelgood noted.

The report said that unless the focus is placed on bullets, the mass shooting mayhem will continue in the US.

Dr Feelgood confidently proclaimed, "Everybody can and should own whatever guns they want. If they want assault rifles or even machine guns, that is a right. But there is no Constitutional guarantee that they be allowed to have bullets for those weapons. If we ban bullets then we will see an end to gun violence."

The National Rifle Association applauded the Bureau's report for finally taking the blame away from guns and placing it where it belongs.

Jill Irons, a spokesperson for the NRA, said that it is good to see that what we have been saying all along has finally been shown to be true. "Obviously it wasn't the guns killing all those people in the US. We are so glad that the report placed the blame where it really belongs, on the ammunition," Irons said.

The Ammunition and Recreation Association has countered with a statement today saying that it is clear that the bullets couldn't be fired without guns and therefore it is the guns killing people.

But Dr. Feelgood countered that counter by saying we have a Constitutional right to guns but not to bullets.

Staff Writer, Chino Idiota