Major Study Finds People Don't Like Each Other, May Explain Republican Appeal

NEW HAVEN, Connecticut--In a landmark longitudinal study conducted over 2 decades involving nearly a hundred thousand people, researchers at New England Institute of Behavioral Sciences discovered that people don't actually like each other.

According to the study, people often pretended to be polite but when they they registered their true feelings the results were surprising.

Dr. John Frankincense said, "When we put the numbers together and registered people's true feelings we found that 89% of the people didn't like about 93% of the people they were interacting with about 100% of the time. We also found that most times people were not acting aggressive but they often felt like verbally and sometimes physically assaulting others."

Frankincense also reported, "Maybe our findings can be used to explain why people engage in wars, other terrible acts of violence toward each other, and maybe even the lack of governmental help for those in need. It might even explain why some people choose to be conservative and neoconservative Republicans"

But some researchers are not convinced that you can draw much of a conclusion from the finding that people don't like each other.

Dr. John Sugarman, a South Ridge Tech professor, points out that people may not like each other but they also don't like to work and they still do it.

"The fact that people have such dislike for each other cannot explain wars, the growing poverty rate, lack of help for the needy, the homeless, corporate welfare queens or even Republicans. People have been taught not to care about each other and the fact they don't like each other doesn't matter much."

Researchers agree that further studies will be needed to see if people actually care about each other even though they really don't like each other.

The landmark study will soon be published in Journal of Human Understanding later sometime.

Social Science Writer Chino Idiota